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Letting it go...

I feel like I've emerged from a difficult break up. BD broke my heart a little, mostly heartbreak over missing Edward and Bella, missing their growth together as a couple, missing Bella as a human and all of her imperfections. Bella and Edward were happy in the end, and I'm glad for that, but the journey there felt empty. Yes, they got everything they ever thought they wanted and more, but I feel like we missed the growth and development, the hardship, the trials that make the happy ending mean something. And I'm sad for that.

I'm also letting go how angry BD made me initially. bratanimus has an excellent review in which she describes how passive Bella remains throughout the first two parts of the book. For some reason, Meyer chose Jacob as the storyteller for one of Bella's most difficult moments. This is a pivotal moment in the life of a character we've followed for three books, and we lose her perspective. She's in pain, she's trying desperately to convince Edward this is what she wants, and dealing with his fierce protectiveness and fear for her, but we don't actually see this strong Bella emerging. And we are definitely left out of any growth of Bella and Edward as a couple, struggling with difficult decisions and very different view points. Ah, I ache for the missed opportunities we could have had with our characters.

I also found it frustrating that Meyer had to make sex about having babies. Some wonderful fanfics out there do beautiful justice to Bella and Edward as they learn and explore how to be intimate with each other. Meyer's Bella and Edward go from having very little experience, to practicing a little, to having a child together, to having amazing, all night vampire sex. It just feels empty and unrealistic.

But through all of this frustration, I've been so happy to be a part of this fandom. I've loved that many of you have been able to articulate exactly how you felt about his book and I've been able to completely relate. That's pretty incredible, to feel that while there are a lot of different view points, there also seems to be a general consensus as to what many of us felt was missing from the book.

Now, why didn't Meyer's editors catch that loss first?


( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
Aug. 9th, 2008 03:34 am (UTC)
You make an excellent point. I was thinking I was thankful that we didn't have to read Bella being pregnant because I figured it would be a lot of her in pain and not much else but you are so right that that was a missed opportunity to see a stronger Bella. (Though to be quite honest I'm not sure SM would have done it that way - I think she would have gone on and on about the pain the like she did with the details about the birth, trying so hard to convince us of the magnitude of the pain).

I'm most sad that the lesson is that unless you have a child your life will never be complete. For 3 books all Bella ever wanted was Edward and then all of a sudden, Edward is completely secondary to this child that she is carrying (which I suppose is true for a mother though I wouldn't know) but random for the Bella we know.

But like you said, it is time to let it go. :)
Aug. 9th, 2008 11:15 pm (UTC)
I completely agree! I also found it unbelievable that all of a sudden, Bella was completely fine with having a child. I think if Meyer would have dropped hints in earlier books about Bella's desire to have kids, it might have worked, but as it stands, it feels really contrived. And yeah, where are our important Bella and Edward moments that remind us that they're in this together? That they're having a baby together? Bizarre.

Diving back into reading and writing fanfiction is making the process of letting it all go easier. I feel like I'm creating a bunch of different alternative universes in my head as to what really happened :)
Aug. 10th, 2008 07:43 am (UTC)
stupid publishers
i totally agree, why DIDNT her publishers pick it up? didnt they realise that the book is completely different from her last two?
its like a heap of great ideas (and not so great) that she just crammed into one book and couldnt explain them all. it had too much in it.
also a lot of (for me) did NOT make sense, but still, as much as some of it was a tad bit confusing i had to say overall i enjoyed it more than i hated it.
i prolly would of enjoyed it more if one of my "friends" didnt ruin the book for me (in australia we got it on the 4th so before we even got it someone spoiled the whole book by going on wikipedia and gave EVERYTHING away) but considering i knew what was happening, it was pretty good... but i cant find many ppl agreeing with me
Aug. 10th, 2008 07:58 am (UTC)
What really bugs me is that SMeyer has said that BD really only existed to bring Nessie into the world. Assuming the publishers knew that, I think that should have been a red flag. It's just odd and not fitting at all for a series-ending book to exist only to introduce a new character. Arrrgh.

But I'm learning to get over it, and I agree, this fandom is AMAZING. So many people are able to make light of the fact that they hated BD and that is helping me get over it. lol.
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )


KStew smile

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