songforevela (songforevela) wrote,

Turning Back (2/?)

Title: Turning Back (2/?)
Author: songforevela
Rating: PG, for now
Drama, Romance, Angst
Edward/Bella, other Cullens
Short summary:
Post-Eclipse. Edward's attempt to turn Bella does not go as planned, and Edward is forever changed.
Any warnings:
No BD spoilers.
They belong to Stephenie Meyer.

Chapter 1 here.


The dark hotel room feels like a prison, and it is. Esme is with me, but we can offer each other little comfort. The past 48 hours have been the longest of my life; longer than getting to Italy, longer than waiting for Victoria. Nothing compares to the exhausting suspense of waiting for that small, black phone to ring, telling me he is OK. Because it will ring. He has to be OK.

Esme had been the one to grab me off the bed Edward and I share and bring me here. There has been no word from our family, no updates as to why Edward's attempt to change me has gone so horribly wrong. As we try to make some sense of what is happening, Esme and I recount again and again the series of events that led to our seclusion in this room, but we glean little understanding from them.

"He said, Esme, take Bella with you. Get away from Forks. Please be safe and don't come back until you hear from me," Esme repeats again, recalling Carlisle's words as if trying to will him into this room, to us, to her.

"I don't understand, Esme...why can't we go back? Edward wouldn't hurt me, I know that, but you said Emmet and Jasper had to hold him back. Maybe my scent, my blood was too much..." I choke on my words, feeling a heavy guilt screaming that I have driven Edward to lose control. I should never have insisted that he be the one to change me. I should have let Carlisle do it, and everything would have gone smoothly and safely. This is my own, selfish fault.

Esme moves to sit next to me on the bed, her arm circling my shoulders and her head resting on mine.

"Bella, maybe you're right, but it's been almost two days. You are far from Edward." Her voice falters. "He should have recovered by now."

And this is the moment that usually brings us both to near hysterical worry. If it is simply a matter of needing to clear his head of my scent, of the taste of my blood, why have we not heard from him? From anyone? What if Edward's loss of control led him to hurt our family? To hurt Carlisle? To hurt himself? When our thoughts lead here, it is too much. Too much pain. Too much fear.

And against these thoughts, the question as to why Edward's venom has not changed me mean nothing.

I have no idea of the time as I lift my head from the flat, motel pillow to glance at the digital clock next to the bed. It reads 12:42, and I assume that means AM considering the darkness outside the curtains. I reach a tentative hand up to the wound on my neck; it's still painful, but the bandage is intact. I can't  remember if I've slept; if I have, it has been restless and full of the same waking nightmare I'm in now. I cannot take this senseless waiting, this inability to do anything. 

Esme sits in an upholstered chair, in the opposite corner of the room, her knees drawn to her chest.

"Anything?" I ask. I cannot keep the trace of hope out of my voice.

She slowly shakes her head. Her eyes are unfathomably dark, not in color, but in hopelessness. That look seems impossible on her face, and I almost sigh in relief when she seems to remember herself, and a portion of the Esme I know returns.

"Bella, you should really eat something to keep your strength up. I ordered some lasagna from the restaurant downstairs, or there's also some fruit salad and yoghurt. The chef also supposedly makes excellent pancakes, if that sounds better, I could order you some..." She trails off and starts to busy herself with extracting packages of food from the mini-fridge.

"At 1 in the morning? I don't think room service runs around the clock." I attempt a weak smile. She's too compassionate; I don't deserve it. Despite her own worry and fear, she is still taking care of me, as a mother--my mother. And I have possibly taken her son away from her. Another son. Maybe other precious children. She walks to me, placing a hand on either side of my face.

"I would make them for you myself, if I could remember how." She returns my weak smile. I can tell that she is trying to lighten my fear, to take on more of it herself instead, and I will have none of it.

"Thanks, but I'm OK. I don't think I can stomach anything." I stand, wrapping my arms around her waist and resting my chin on her shoulder. We stand together briefly before a piercing sound fills the room. Esme's phone.


Keep on reading....Chapter 3

Tags: fanfic, turning back, twilight
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